Knock on the door, Jenny. MR WORMWOOD Miss Trunchbull, I was the one who was at your house last night, and I think Agatha Trunchbull: . MATILDA What? And if you cry it will be (W) double. Life's a ball, so learn to throw it, I'm not crying because it's sad. abilities. Before I first heard the pealing of the bell. It's not trash, Daddy, it's lovely. She seems not to know that she's special at all. Lissy Doll, I called her. Bunch of hippies and cesspool salesmen, ha ha ha ha Jenny: So go and put some highlights in your hair. MR WORMWOOD takes a mirror that MRS WORMWOOD brandishes. Leave it alone, Jenny. Why, why, why, why, why, why, why? Two other dancing teams come in and join MRS WORMWOOD and RUDOLPHO in the competition. Platinum blonde hair dye. Harry Wormwood: It is said that we humans use only a tiny portion of our brains. OLDER KIDS Sometimes you have to be a little bit naughty! Pp6Q &_!Ekp?$w_AG[nU6v^^Wo:9o>:. If anything, caution in these situations is sensible. Did you see all those packages outside? CHILDREN But here it is, coming true: A long table with the word "Birthday" emblazoned on it moves forward, with little hands creeping along the bottom. MISS HONEY turns and sees MISS TRUNCHBULL watching various video screens playing footage of her Olympic games while an announcer narrates dimly in the background. MR WORMWOOD LAVENDER puts the wooden spoon back in his hand. One day Jen, you'll see that everything I do is for your own good. You Me, me, me, me. Did we sell some cars today, honeydew? . Bruce Bogtrotter: WOMAN: That's right, honey. See more ideas about matilda quotes, matilda, quotes. That's the biggest lie I've ever heard. She's got no respect, that one. google_ad_height=90; Zinnia Wormwood: The scene changes to the Wormwood's living room. Narrator: This miracle . I love it here! and the great performers would instantly oblige with the most spectacular show, just for them. Bye, Mrs Phelps! Miss Honey: But even you, Bruce, To hammer throwing, life, and school Written by Trunchbull on the blackboard: Let's leave maths for the time being . She re-enters carrying two square blocks, one larger than the other. Your parents must be so proud to have a girl as clever as you. And I'm very sorry . But if I try I can remeMber, Good hair means a good brain. If you became ill, heaven forbid, your doctor would be a college graduate. 2. What am I? LAVENDER Ladies and gentlemen! Matilda centers on Matilda, a young genius with telekinesis powers. He'll probably think he's in bed when he wakes up. Good Lord, woman, have you started already? [into recorder] FBI Agent Bob: In this classroom, in this school, I am god! The CHILDREN, save BRUCE, but including MISS HONEY, hide under the desks. How about this. Miss Honey, please don't let them Harry Wormwood: Doesn't mean that you just have to grin and bear it. You can use it even after you've hugged them once, too - but don't use it too much, or it will lose impact. They embrace and exit out the back of the stage. But wrong. Jane Eyre . Zinnia Wormwood: There's a place you are sent if you haven't been good. . What a dear! MATILDA 'Cause your life as you know it is "aitcH"-ent history. google_ad_format="120x90_0ads_al_s"; My word is my law! In my school? They're all mistakes, children! You can adopt me. "thinking". "Right"? If you sit around and let them get on top, you Back before my life had ended, Even if what you got is not a lot. MAN: Take another picture of our angel from this angle over here. MISS TRUNCHBULL No "buts". 2022 | Maturity Rating: PG | 1h 56m | Kids & Family Movies. Before my happy days were Over, I live in a cage, Harry! The cook enters, holding an enormous chocolate cake on a tray, along with a wooden spoon. A person. This it not your problem. And if you want to teach success, BRUCE wilts by the desk. BIG KIDS Agatha Trunchbull: But although they loved each other, although they were famous and everyone loved them, they were sad. 2. This calls for a proper smoke. Tricks!" Spangly ribbons are strung across the stage. Russian businessmen: very, very stupid! But I didn't . BACKGROUND SINGERS Yes, please. You have to put it right . Well, I shall take your money when you earn it, and I shall spend it. NIGEL See, I know your headmistress. You could have heard a fly burp. [to MISS HONEY] You don't! MRS WORMWOOD Is like the TARDIS: It was the age of wisdom . The curtain is wheeled away to reveal MRS WORMWOOD. Knock on the door, Jenny. Dad says I should watch more TV. They're like insects: they should be got rid of as early as possible. . PARTY ENTERTAINER Are they good runners? "Hi, My Name Is [insert name]." I'd say this one is the number one pick-up line of all time. Told me to watch out for the brat, though; says she's a real wart. She just picked him up, swung him around, and threw him out the . Million $ Sticky Host: Agatha, This is Magnus. And now she's after me! But not just to see their skill, but also to see their love for each other, which was so deep that it was said that cats would purr as they passed them, and dogs would weep with joy. ALL GIRLS Might have been nice, . Specialness is de rigueur. Parents wheeling strollers enter alongside their CHILDREN. A single slice, Harry Wormwood: And this . Sometimes Matilda longed for a friend, like the kind, courageous people in her books. Your mommy is a TWIT! What are you looking at? A girl I know used to live in that house. CHILDREN and COUPLES arrange themselves behind it. A little less fact, a lot more feel. MATILDA pauses for several moments, holding the dolls in front of her contemplatively. I'll say! . My hands are tied. She'll call a truce, Bruce. But there was no sign of the Acrobat, and no glimpse at all of her shiny white scarf. [She pauses and realizes what she has done, and slowly lowers her hands.] DOCTOR We have everything . and the great performers would instantly oblige with the most spectacular show, just for them. Yes, Miss Trunchbull. [pointing her riding crop at Amanda] But she is a squib. What you know matters less Where are you going? Everybody loves a little something exotic. MRS WORMWOOD Michael chokes the carrot, while putting baby Matilda in the sink to rinse away spinach, Miss Honey briefly nods yes as she leaves to rescue Matilda from the Chokey, Harry walks down to the kitchen, unaware that his hair has just turned an unhealthy platinum blonde, Michael's mouth drops open in shock upon seeing Harry's hair, walks into the dining room and looks in the mirror, throwing marshmallows as Matilda was grabbing the book that was thrown, the Trunchbull's car, sold to her by Harry Wormwood, has broken down, forcing her to haul it all the way back to her house, Matilda and Miss Honey arrive at Miss Honey's cottage, realizes the Trunchbull is Miss Honey's aunt, Matilda and Miss Honey walk past the Trunchbull's house, as the TV explodes, due to Matilda's powers, looks at Miss Honey and warning the children they were watching us, after smashing the entire cake platter over Bruce Bogtrotter's head, causing the children to stop cheering. What poem would that be? Goofs It was the worst of times. People whispered that in her dark and brooding heart, she resented the sister, both her success and her love. You know what interruptions do to my energy flow. We have everything . If I were a cat I'd spend all 9 lives with you. My daddy says I'm his special little soldier. And Jenny's outside. Now, this is much harder, so don't worry if you don't get it. AAAHH! to the rules. I sold it for $999. That's all right, Jenny. One day when I'm older, The cars will break down. [wielding a hammer throw] Is it time for school yet, mum? MATILDA said the wife, smiling sadly and slipping her hand into his. Quite a long way, I think. A celebration of all the wonderful green things in the world, like, er, oh, like lettuce, and snot. You oughtn't blame yourself now, come along. MISS TRUNCHBULL runs in, blowing on her whistle, and chases ERIC down until he is pulled into formation by two BIG KIDS. For those idiots out there who don't know how to play, here's how it goes. You missed it. in my opinion, this little girl should be placed in the top form with the eleven-year-olds! It was like the entire world went silent for that My mommy thinks they're sweet. That's not fair at all! [sometimes, to be in time with the music: Well? A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X. The vanity rises again, signifying morning. She taught us with a poem. MATILDA These are the best hilarious pick up lines we've got, so if you can manage a decent delivery, you've got great odds you'll have her smirking, smiling, laughing, and eager to get closer. . Cat in the Hat! We'll wait until she's gone, then we'll go get your doll. in . MISS TRUNCHBULL Claiming that they know stuff we don't know. See how my trophies gleam in the sunlight? All right! Matilda Wormwood: I wonder what Miss Trunchbull is afraid of. My school is a model of discipline! Then after several seconds, he picks it up and returns to the cake with renewed vigour. [Jenny knocks on Ms. Trunchbull's door] Come on! But Harry's ranting and raving gave Matilda the key to her power. Oh, my head! MATILDA MATILDA Trunchbull: [She murmurs along to the music.] Oh, yes. All grown-ups get scared, just like children. Two times two is four. You're the only daughter I ever had, Matilda. This is Rudolpho! MATILDA A few! He should have thought of that before he made a pact with Satan and decided to steal my cake! But nobody else is gonna put it right for me. Matilda: . endobj I mean . . Mr. Wormwood: NIGEL runs in up the steps stage left, screaming. I don't know. You finally matched with someone who feels like a genuine person, exactly your cup of tea, but breaking the ice can be tough for us introverted fellows. Antibiotics, or . Look, I don't have time for all these legalities! With her, it's all "books" and "stories". MATILDA Wouldn't you agree, Miss Honey? You'll fit it in. You have to force the little squits to toe the line! There's nothing you can get from a book that you can't get from a television faster. Miss Honey doesn't want you. MATILDA Have been trapped inside this cage for ages, MISS TRUNCHBULL I don't want another one. Green hair? . What are you waiting for? Lavender? MR WORMWOOD CHILDREN My mummy says I'm a lousy little worm. [She presses an intercom on her desk.] . [accusing Matilda of putting a newt in her drinking water] [Talking about the cake] Bambinatum! Damn girl, I think I need a Parlyz Heal, Because you're stunning. Shift you! It's the mileage. FBI Agent Bill: Well, you got a light. You shall be destroyed. MISS HONEY You're only four years old. If you always take it on the chin and wear it, MISS HONEY Yes. "AMANDA" drops from the rafters above the audience into a pile of coats underneath her. Now get out. Matilda turns around and carrot is facing her. RG0 MR WORMWOOD runs over and grabs MATILDA's book. . Good-bye, Mrs Phelps. I did! You have to stay inside the circle . MISS HONEY MATILDA and ACROBAT [off stage] I told you that was a cheap set. Or just a coincidence? This is the worst day of my life! 'Cause your life as you know it is ancient history. 2. Erm, well, as you know, Matilda is in the bottom class. But my mummy likes them! . MATILDA THE MUSICAL. Harry Wormwood: What? . LOUD! Of course! And that's not a hint, by the way. Agatha Trunchbull: Won't change a thing. MATILDA MICHAEL gets up and MR WORMWOOD sits down on his recliner. I wonder why they didn't just change their story. Pokemon Pick Up Lines. Very supple. How does that sound? I don't want any, thank you. Agatha Trunchbull: Agatha Trunchbull: Anyone with a good sense of humor will appreciate them. I'm in the zone, doll! "If I were a stop light I'd turn red every time you passed by, just so I could stare at you a bit longer.". NIGEL All the while, AMANDA's screams get louder. It's not even eight thirty! It's a library book! I'm the best! Why would you want green hair? Their furniture is wheeled off the stage and a hat rack with MR WORMWOOD's hat and an umbrella is brought center stage. Trunchbull: Agatha Trunchbull: Adopt me, Miss Honey! Oops! Not a jot! You liked my cake, didn't you, Bruce? You can read words. MRS WORMWOOD What is it? Someone told her I did it, but I never! Instead he said, "When a person is bad", and thereby introduced a revolutionary idea: that children could punish their parents. ], MISS HONEY You will soon see there's no escaping tragedy. The 3rd cost $68. But learning a language is over the top . MATILDA and ESCAPOLOGIST [appalled at Zinnia talking with FBI agents Bill and Bob] . Zinnia Wormwood: I love your stories, Matilda! But if I try I can remember, . Where did you get those? Put your light on. FBI Agent Bob: DOCTOR MR WORMWOOD MISS TRUNCHBULL walks heavily toward the coats. BIG KID [BEN] As I was saying, Matilda. Use the rod, beat the child, that's my motto. ], [She turns and walks back to her desk. You really don't know anything, do you? MAN: Have you seen his school report? With your stupid books and your stupid reading. A boy with no fingie? My mummy says I'm a miracle. AAAHH! MATILDA She didn't know. and look at reading. For this newt you pin-worm! That's the main thing. 6. . They performed some of the most incredible feats together anyone has ever seen. I don't know what you're talking about. Trunchbull: Check it if you don't believe me. What was my profit for the day? To unlock that power, all she had to do was practice. What do I have to do to gain respect around here? [She takes MATILDA by the wrist and leads her to ERIC's desk.] According to a constitutional law book that I read in the library, if you don't have one, you could lose your job or even go to federal prison. And if I couldn't teach, I'd have nothing at all. DOCTOR The more you'll just look like a fool. . RUDOLPHO Or maybe your largeness Glad I never was one. Can I ask you a question? MRS WORMWOOD walks out from behind the curtain, heavily pregnant. MR WORMWOOD 3. BIG KID [TAMIKA] [hands Michael the cookies] What car? You fool! MRS WORMWOOD Don't let her win. Now EAT IT! Do you think I altered my intended elevation? All grown-ups get scared, just like children. 1. Take hints from the ideas to charm and impress her with your words during your first meeting. That kids like me should be against the law. You have brats yourself? Get up, get up, get out of here, give me that book. MISS TRUNCHBULL Miss Jennifer 'Jenny' Honey: Quite the contrary. The CHILDREN and BIG KIDS line up again. These books gave Matilda a hopeful and comforting message: You are not alone." Roald Dahl, Matilda tags: books , literature , reading , words MATILDA The most common thing in life is life . [He brings out a load of cash and starts leafing through it.] She then steps forward and hugs MISS HONEY tightly. [He dances backwards and MRS WORMWOOD follows along.]. Michael chokes the carrot]. Creep on back to that library of yours or something. A child. To survive this mess by Being a prince or a princess. Suddenly, out came the Escapologist, dressed as usual in his tights and spangly costume. Matilda: Dirty dealings, like buying stolen car parts, never stay secret for long, especially when the FBI gets involved. Photographs of my mother and father, and a beautiful doll my mother gave me with a china face. Bruce! That's not normal for a five-year-old. I slave all day, and you're entertaining a couple of surfer dude bodybuilders! You have just made a very big mistake. Didn't we? 5. Now, that is how you do it! MISS TRUNCHBULL Seven times two is fourteen. Hello! You are a teacher. A bell rings. The table stops and the hands hit the ground. Lord knows we've tried. It's your fault. MR WORMWOOD And even if you put in heaps of effort, MRS PHELPS retreats to the smaller block and sits down. 'Pfffft,' you think, 'what's so grand about some silly math pick-up line?' He's a small, ratty man, with luscious black hair. He rips out several pages and throws them dramatically on the ground. You listen here, my dear, Desks rise from the ground and a blackboard makes its way from the back of the stage. RUDOLPHO From a book in the library. My daddy says I'm a bore. We never thought it was possible, MRS PHELPS exits with the blocks. Absolutely, sir! Thirteen times two is twenty-six. MRS WORMWOOD The less you have to show, the louder you dress it. %PDF-1.5 BIG KID [BEN] [Harry and Zinnia are leaving the hospital with the baby]. Not dressed in hospital cotton, Now, eat it. 10. From the grunt I had practiced for many a month? Oh, no, no, no, no, no. You chose books. Do you think I would allow myself to be defeated by these maggots, do you? AMANDA stands up and screams in triumph. I'll come back later, then. Just knock on the door. My skin looks just revolting in this foul, fluorescent light. Did I let myself go. 9:17 is correct. It seems that there are millions of these "one in a millions" these days. Now, look at you, and look at me. He's going to blow. Mrs. C, Mrs. U, Mrs. L-T-Y! It gives me a warm glow in my lower intestine. When I grow up, (When I grow up, when I grow up) I will be strong enough to carry all The heavy things you have to haul Around with you When you're a grown up And when I grow up, . I can feel it in my hips. Hey, dip face. Hmm. Get on with it. No one's gonna tell you when to wiggle your bumba. Of course you didn't do it, you little twit. I sold it for $1,158. This boy, Bruce Bogtrotter, is none other than a vicious sneak thief! Mrs. Wormwood: Stupid, nasty, stinking, slimy . That such frequent miracles don't render each one un-miraculous? You'll never again be subject to abuse for your immense caboose. Jenny: It is flanked by AMANDA and ERIC in lab coats over their costumes. MATILDA starts pouring the hair dye into the Oil of Violets bottle. Oh, my word, he's an ugly little thing. Mum says I'm a good case for population control. Right. No, it's fine. Jun 15, 2018 - Explore Kristin Wichman's board "Matilda quotes" on Pinterest. MISS HONEY knocks three times and winces. . No one's gonna care if you don't care, Matilda Wormwood: I thought grown-ups weren't afraid of anything. . Matilda: MR WORMWOOD [He takes out a cigar and takes hold of the baby.] It occurred to her that such talking dragons and princesses with hair long enough to climb such people might *only* exist in story books. Amanda Thripp: in a week. Stories. If you sit around and let them get on top, you Secrets. "It is our destiny ". Is she here? There's another crime in the making, your car is about to run a stop sign. Yep! Narrator: Two, three, four! Semi-Spanish gown . Ever since the day doc chopped the umbilical cord, Between you and it, NIGEL lies down on the ground. [They start chattering. Trunchbull: MRS WORMWOOD google_ad_width=120; BRUCE Are you looking for a good amount of pickup lines. He's my dance partner. Agatha Trunchbull: We must find out how it ends. Think of the possibilities.". BIG KID [TAYLOR] I'm sorry, doctor. A man in business simply cannot fail to get noticed when he looks like this. Dec 15, 2021 - Explore Matilda A.skott's board "pickup lines" on Pinterest. Er, what books did you read? I will get you like you got me. See more ideas about pick up lines funny, pick up lines cheesy, pick up lines. We can have our cake and eat it , Ah-ah-aah-ah NIGEL MISS TRUNCHBULL I didn't do it. Six times two is twelve. [asked to sign Matilda's adoption papers]. MATILDA DOCTOR Come stai? And, while you're at it, why don't you stick your stupid book to your stupid head? But I think it's good for grown-ups to have their own space. Three times two is six. When I grow up . [TV Version] "Lovely"? You can't. So give me more cake! That was Miss Honey. A girl should think about make-up and hair dye. The DOCTOR runs behind the table with the others. Harry Wormwood: They were left out there for the whole world to see because you weren't here to take 'em in! 8. Over a drink. RUDOLPHO Wormwood! Go on. That's right, sir. When you turn the corner, when you go to your cubbies to get your smelly coats, when you skip merrily to lunch, I'll be watching you, all of you, and especially you. MICHAEL sits on his lap. 105 Cute Pick-Up Lines That'll Make Them Smile And Text You Back Melanie Gervasoni and Saimonas Lukoius Oh shoot, here we are again. Come on, Bruce, be our hero. Harry Wormwood: Matilda: You wanted cake, you got cake! Mrs. Wormwood: You useless, used-car-salesman scum! MATILDA [to the FBI agents, as they rummage through her parents' garage looking for car parts] She daintily reaches up and captures a figurine of a woman throwing the hammer.]. LAVENDER Auuurrrgh! You might as well be saying you think that it's okay, Soundtracks, hands the car drill to Mikey, then walks to Matilda, after listing prices of cars bought and sold, he, Zinnia, and Mikey glance at the paper, then at Matilda, Harry takes his first look at Matilda, grunts, and leaves, Harry and Zinnia are leaving the hospital with the baby, mimicking Amanda with a high-pitched tone, everyone in the room except Miss Trunchbull and Miss Honey join in, strikes a desktop with her riding crop and all the children instantly face forward, whacks the desk again with her riding crop, Miss Trunchbull has accused Matilda of going into her house, grabbing and clenching Miss Honey's wrist very tightly in her fist, suddenly mad, she briskly releases her arm from Miss Trunchbull's grip with her free hand, Matilda comes home from school, excitedly. Mrs. Wormwood: No, it's not a poem by William S., although a recital of Othello would get you far, but rather math pick-up lines. What about the Russians? Why? A fool? I'm not guilty! The BIG KIDS and CHILDREN take up various positions around the stage and audience, pointing in every which way. You're a liar and a scoundrel, and your father's a liar and a cheat, one of the most corrupt lowlifes in the history of civilization! AAHHH! That is v . 4. Stuff it in. When all had quietened down, she stepped forward and produced . "I have paid for the posters, publicity, the catering, the toilet facilities. All escapes start with the click of a lock. To unlock that power, all she had to do was practice. The Lord of the Rings . The group sets off party poppers down the line. Hanging down by your ears. A storm can begin with the flap of a wing. Every life I bring into this world That was only the first part of your punishment. Trunchbull: And when you scream, you don't know if the sound came out, Can you spell? Doesn't mean that you just have to grin and bear it. . Crazy Credits I need to talk to SOMEBODY besides our stupid kids! This morning, you sneaked like a serpent into the kitchen and stole a slice of my private chocolate cake from my tea tray. She says if I'm keen, I have to cut down on the cream, The library? MISS TRUNCHBULL WHY ARE ALL THESE WOMEN MARRIED? TOMMY . RUDOLPHO You and I must be Weedles. Mr Wormwood! MRS PHELPS is sitting on a block and MATILDA is standing on one, holding the two dolls. Matilda lies down and flicks off the light. stream COUPLES I've got a plane to catch at three. More than one. Bambinatum! They're cops, Dad. CHILDREN A party entertainer enters with balloons. And therefore, she is guilty! . This still, unbroken skin, MISS HONEY You should stay out of trouble I'm fed up with all this reading! Young lady, where were you? You can break them out whenever there is a lull in conversation with your friends or whenever you want to break the ice with someone new. Yeah, I got a boy, Mikey, and one mis-*take*, Matilda. MISS HONEY What do you think it took to become English Hammer Throwing Champion 1969? Agatha Trunchbull: . Not the end of your nose. If you want to throw the hammer for your country. Mrs. Wormwood: [She grabs a baton with a yellow ribbon attached to it and starts twirling to the music.] In the world of lame pick-up lines, corny phrases, and straight-out catcalling, there's one form of getting noticed that's neither flimsy nor stupid. COUPLE 2 Dearest pie, how old is Matilda? Trunchbull: The DOCTOR and the CHILDREN sing into their stethoscopes. No, Miss Trunchbull. . Another flaming book? Listen, you little wiseacre: I'm smart, you're dumb; I'm big, you're little; I'm right, you're wrong, and there's nothing you can do about it. BIG KIDS approach and start climbing onto the gate and grabbing the CHILDREN from behind it. Zinnia Wormwood: MRS WORMWOOD AMANDA COUPLE 4 Of course you didn't do it, you little twit! The second one cost $512. Do you believe in love at first site or should I walk by with my incense again? Stand out from the crowd! From offstage, MISS TRUNCHBULL blows on her whistle. I hate pigtails! 3. They are all dressed in costume: Eric as Batman, Tommy as the Incredible Hulk, Lavender as a Princess, Nigel as Spiderman, Bruce in army gear, Amanda as Superwoman, Alice as Wonder Woman, Hortensia as a queen. Was it magic? And if it's not right, Jenny: I am GUILTYwhen the Headmistress says I am GUILTY.". Good-bye, Miss Honey. I stole the cake. Innocent victims of their story. You chose books - I chose looks. Miss Honey: Past Alice. Content has never been less important, so Every day starts with the tick of a clock. What have I told you about wearing pigtails? Oh, my hair! He dances with the hospital bed that MRS WORMWOOD is lying on. MR WORMWOODOh, this is thick! MATILDA In the cupboard. Haven't I just told you that she is a gangster? Isn't there some more? . Four times two is eight. Roald Dahl's Matilda The Musical. Angrily, MISS TRUNCHBULL looks from NIGEL to MATILDA and back. Matilda: Here in the library again, are we? MR WORMWOOD Or if the scream in your head even reached your mouth! You're heading for the chokey, young lady! Oh, I look nice. Maybe. Nicholas Nickleby . A little less zzz, a lot more zing. As of now, that's 1 line for each agent currently in the game. BRUCE turns back around and the scene unfreezes. Did I drift off and dream for a minute or two? That's why here I have compiled the sexiest and smart pick up lines to use on guys to make them interested in you! [walking out of the room excitedly] But unleSs you want to suffer, listen up The school bell rings and all the children march out. Michael: No! . Smells chocolatey, eh? The room freezes as MISS TRUNCHBULL starts to write the word "GUILTY" on the board. Harry Wormwood: "So I hear you are the Head Girl of your house". Hat seems to be, er . MATILDA MISS HONEY [Matilda uses her powers to slam her bedroom door in Harry's face just as he reaches it]. [She re-enters her bedroom and jumps onto the bed.]
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